


Wire

by Yourfriendlyneighborhoodpanda



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Blood and Injury, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-20
Updated: 2021-03-20
Packaged: 2021-03-29 00:21:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30147870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yourfriendlyneighborhoodpanda/pseuds/Yourfriendlyneighborhoodpanda
Summary: An assignment I had to write that became this. Basically Logan has shitty parents and lots of stress and can't take it anymore, Patton is there too.Trigger Warning for mentions of self harm and blood
Kudos: 9





	Wire

All Logan could hear was his own heartbeat in his ears and the harsh, panting breaths escaping his lips. He could feel the jolt of his feet slamming against the forest floor through his legs, as he sprinted for his life. He’d heard something coming and didn’t risk sticking around to find out what it was. He didn’t know what he was running from or even where he was going, but he knew deep down that if he stopped, something awful would happen. He could hardly see in front of him, the world too dark to discern anything, only knowing he was moving from the feeling of leaves and branches whipping against his face. They were sharp- he could feel them causing stinging cuts against his face. Logan’s foot hit a root or branch- something, causing him to stumble and fall. He rolled, unable to stop. He felt his arm catch on something sharp, causing searing, stinging pain to rush through him. Logan let out a sharp hiss of pain and clutched his arm as he finally came to a stop. 

It took him a moment to catch his breath, trying to be quiet enough to listen. He focused, searching for any signs of the thing that had been after him, but something else caught his attention. He heard some sort of buzzing, sparking sound. It was faint, hardly detectable. As Logan tried to pinpoint where the sound was coming from, another throb from his arm recaptured his attention. He looked down to assess the wound, but it was too dark to see it. Logan looked up to find some way to see, finally spotting a shred of moonlight peeking from a gap in the trees. He crawled over to it, putting out his arm to let the small bit of light illuminate the wound. 

At first, he blinked hard, unable to make out what he was looking at. He leaned in closer to get a better look when he heard the noise again, but slightly louder this time. He froze, taking a moment to figure out if he was just seeing things, but then the light glinted off his wound and knew he was seeing correctly. The buzzing sound was indeed coming from his arm where he’d been cut. Instead of blood and skin coming from his wound, there were wires poking out. The wires had been cut through by whatever he’d hit, causing little sparks were bouncing from the ends. Logan felt his heart stop, panic rising in his chest, and a pressure growing as though an elephant was sitting on him. He shakily touched the wires with his other hand in disbelief. The wires were cold to the touch. Something triggered within Logan, and he snapped. He plunged his hand into the wound, trying desperately to claw out the wires under his skin. Why were there wires? He wasn’t a robot or some machine, he was human. Where was the blood, the tissue, the bone? Even the pain was gone by then. He felt nothing except for the metal against his hand. Logan pulled and ripped, but they stayed in place. The harder he tried, more skin peeled away from his arm, until nothing was left but the metal skeleton and wires. 

Logan bolted upright from his bed, sweat dripping down his face. His breaths came out harsh and limited as he frantically looked around at where he was. As he realized he was in his room and it was just a nightmare, he flopped back against his pillow and took a deep breath to try and calm down. He picked up his glasses from the nightstand and put them on before grabbing his phone to check the time. 5:30, 30 minutes before his alarm went off. There was no chance that he was going back to sleep, so instead, he went to take a long, hot shower. He could only hope it would wash away the nightmare.

When he finished his shower he got dressed, doing his best to squash down the memory of the dream deep down. After years of learning to push his emotions down, it came naturally. That didn’t always mean that he managed it well, though. He tried not to let the thought bother him as he made his way downstairs. His father sat at the table, computer in front of him as his fingers flew across the keyboard. Logan didn’t bother with a greeting as he grabbed an apple from the basket on the counter. His mom sat in the living room, a big binder filled with stacks of paper in her lap.

“Are you getting your physics test back today?” His father asked, eyes not even moving off the screen.

“I believe so. I’m confident that I didn’t miss a question,” Logan said, taking a bite out of the apple.

“As is expected of you. Now get going before you’re late.” Logan just nodded and walked out the door to start his walk to school.

“Lo, buddy!” Patton called out as Logan reached his locker. He flinched slightly at the noise but pushed it down. He didn’t want to upset his friend. He was feeling the lack of sufficient sleep from the nightmare, but he hated putting his issues on Patton. 

“Hello Pat,” Logan replied, moving his stuff from his locker into his backpack. He had to make sure he had everything he needed for his classes, he couldn’t risk forgetting anything. He was an example; he was always on time, always got 100 on his homework, and never forgot to do any of his assignments. When he finished putting everything in his backpack, he turned to Patton. Logan immediately zeroed in on the frown that quickly took place on Patton’s face. 

“Is everything alright, Pat?” he asked. Had he done something wrong?

“I should be asking you the same question, Lo. You look awful! Er-I didn’t mean that to be mean, but you really don’t look good. Did you sleep at all last night?” Concern edged his voice. Logan blew out a breath, cursing to himself.

“I’m perfectly fine, I just stayed up a little later than I meant to. I was studying.” Patton only frowned further.

“Lo, you know what I’ve told you about doing that! I know you really care about your grades, but you need to take care of yourself too!” his lip was practically wobbling already. 

“I know Pat, I’m sorry. I just wasn’t keeping track of time, I promise.” Logan felt bad for lying, but he couldn’t let him know about the nightmare. Then he’d really worry. 

“Please be sure to take care of yourself!” Pat launched himself into Logan’s arms and squeezed tight. Logan couldn’t help but let out a small laugh and a smile, gently putting his arms around Pat. 

“Good. Now, do you think you could help me with my math at lunch?” Pat asked. Logan could only agree. 

He’d met Pat when they were both much younger. Logan had been raised to do well on his schoolwork and not worry about “frivolous things” from the time he could start reading and writing. Unfortunately for him that meant he didn’t have many- or really any- friends. That’s when Pat came along. His mother was Irish and his father American, so sometimes Patton’s words came out differently than normal. It wasn’t really too obvious until he got too excited, but being excited was Pat’s constant state of being. On top of that, Pat was a lot more...emotional than the other boys, and that made him easy pickings for the kids to tease him. Logan had been sitting at lunch alone when Patton, sweet, bleeding heart Patton, first came up to him, sat down, and started talking away like they’d been friends since they were born. He didn’t seem to mind that Logan didn’t really talk back, and Logan liked the little ball of energy that got injected into his usually quiet existence. And even if he’d wanted to, Logan didn’t think there was a possible way to kick Pat out of his life. They’d been friends ever since. 

Logan sat in his physics class, waiting for the graded tests to be handed out. He nervously chewed his lip, needing to see his grade. He knew he’d done well- he always did. He’d spent many nights rereading the textbook, doing practice problems, and even watching instructional videos. Even so, he still couldn’t help the nerves that flooded his stomach as he watched his teacher passing them out. The teacher slowly walked around and gave the tests back, finally making his way to Logan. He practically snatched the test out of the teacher’s hand, but paused when he didn’t hear the usual congratulations. 

The teacher walked away and Logan glanced at the top of the page, a 97% written in a glaring red. Momentarily he forgot how to breathe, disbelief rushing through him. He...he always got a 100. It was expected, assumed at this point. He worked so hard, tried so hard and oh lord, what would his parents say? They would demand to see the test as soon as he got home. He couldn’t hide it or pretend it wasn’t there. They’d be disappointed, annoyed at their failure of a son. He was a failure. His vision got foggy, but he forced himself to breathe and focus. He pushed the anxiety and disappointment far down so he could focus on the day’s lesson. In his mind he took all the bad thoughts and pretended to shove them into a little bottle with the cap screwed on tight. He would deal with it later. He always dealt with it later.  
Logan walked home as slow as possible, though it wasn’t very possible with his long legs. His father was in the kitchen, looking over papers at the table while his mother was in the living room with a book in her hands. 

“Mother, father,” he greeted. His father looked up, piercing Logan with his gaze. 

“Your physics test?” was all he said. Logan gulped and pulled the test from his backpack. He handed it to his father with his gaze averted. 

“A 97%?” His father’s voice was calm and even, but Logan could hear the disappointment loud and clear. 

“I know, I-I don’t know what happened, but I swear-” his father put his hand up to quiet him, and immediately Logan shut his mouth. 

“Don’t know what happened? I’ll tell you what happened- you failed. Your mother and I have done nothing but give you the tools for success that you needed from the time you were young, and this is what you give us in return? Imagine what the people at the company will think of me if they hear about this? What kind of father has a child that can’t do physics? And what about your mother? Her clients expect nothing but the best for their cases. What will they do if they find out her son can’t pass a simple test? Don’t you realize these reflect badly on all of us?” His father’s voice was ice cold. Logan did his best to swallow his tears.

“I understand. I’ll do better, I promise.” Logan clenched his fists at his sides.

“Just go upstairs. It’s clear you need to study more. Don’t come back down until morning. I expect better from you.” Logan didn’t say anything, he couldn’t. So he walked up the  
stairs to his room and shut the door. 

Logan took out his books and his test and sat them on his desk. He couldn’t think about his father’s words, couldn’t dwell on all his shortcomings. He knew it wouldn’t do him good. His father was right, he should be better- had to be better. So he looked at the questions he missed on the test, opened his textbook, and got to work fixing them. He went over them again and again, but everytime he was coming up with a different answer that wasn’t the correct one. Why was he struggling so badly? Why couldn’t he just use his stupid brain and figure it out? He worked until the words swam and the numbers blurred together, and still he couldn’t do it. Still he was a failure.  
Logan froze in his place as he heard a faint buzzing noise. The same one from his nightmare. 

“No...no,” Logan whispered, panicked. He was just hearing things. But as he tried to convince himself it was imaginary, he swore he could feel a thrum under his skin, whirring and clacking. He brought his arm up, clutching it by his ear, but the buzzing only got louder. He tried to cover his ears, tried to ignore the sound but it nagged at his brain; it kicked and scratched until all he could think of was the wires in his arm. The thought wouldn’t leave him. 

“No no no no no,” he was full-blown panicking then. He scratched and scratched at his forearm, unable to stop himself. He glanced around his room, searching for anything to help him. His eye landed on a pair of scissors at his desk. He couldn’t. But he needed to know. Logan could no longer discern fantasy from reality, the world around him seemed to fade away, the darkness of the forest fading in and out.

“It’s just to check,” he kept repeating as he walked to his desk and picked up the scissors. Logan stared at the blade, watching almost mesmerized as he placed it on his skin, applying pressure and dragging it down his forearm. He hissed at the pain but kept going. Beads of red appeared from the now marred skin. But he didn’t trust it. He couldn’t trust it. He had to be sure. Logan took the scissors back to the mark and pressed even harder, opening up the wound further. Pain was shooting up and down his whole arm, throbbing, but he hardly noticed. It was cut just enough to where he could barely pull the skin apart to check for wires. Blood started to coat his arm, limiting what he could see. He tried to wipe away the blood, poking around in the wound, but all he could feel was flesh, pain, and warmth. It was warm, no wires. He wasn’t a machine. There were no wires. He let out a deranged laugh, relishing in the pain and the blood that flowed from the cut. He was fine. He knew it. 

“Lo!” he heard, but he had no time to react before his door was opened. Patton came through, throwing his backpack on the floor. Pat was at his house so often he practically lived there, so he went right to the closet to put up his coat, making it to where his back was to Logan.

“Hey, I needed a little extra help with my math, so your parents let me up. They seemed a little off, but to be fair they usually do. Anyway, can you-” his sentence cut off as he finally turned around and saw Logan on the floor, blood coating him and his clothes. He rushed over, a loud gasp coming from him as he immediately looked for something to tie around the cut to stop the bleeding. Patton ran back to the closet to grab his coat as he shouted for help, for anyone, but Logan could hardly hear him anymore. 

“What happened, Lo? What did you do? Why didn’t you say something to me?” Patton had tears coming down his face, his voice a pained whisper. He took his coat and wrapped it tightly around Logan’s arm. He couldn’t tell how serious it was but he would rather be safe than sorry. He realized that Logan was saying something under his breath, just barely audible. He leaned in, trying to listen. 

“No wires. There are no wires. Not a machine. Not a robot.” He was human.


End file.
